Normal

by A.W. Sullivan

“She’s a troubled child…malcontent…since the accident…”

Eleven year old Tatyana tried to tune out the hurtful words as she played with a plain little doll that she had found in the doctor’s waiting room. Her twin sister, Sofia, sat reading in the chair opposite.

“Talks to herself…disturbed…crazy?”

Tatyana hated the sympathetic smile Sofia offered as Mother’s voice peaked again, high enough for them to hear. The only thing wrong with her was that she wasn’t perfect little Sofia.

Tatyana started when a shout from outside stole the quiet from the room. Alexei, an irritating orphan who had attached himself to the twins a few months ago stood just outside the door. He pointed to Tatyana and then twirled a finger near the side of his head indicating that she was bonkers.

Tatyana wanted to throttle the little twerp, and meant to, until his face split wide in a grin before he turned around, dropped trow, and mooned the two of them.

Sofia giggled and Tatyana could only try to stifle her amusement at the strange boy. Tatyana had a feeling he was the reason she was there in that dimly lit office answering strange questions and getting stranger looks. She had endured these weekly visits for almost four months now. Since just after her father had died in an automobile accident.

Tatyana stiffened at the sound of Mother approaching and pretended to not notice the boy.

“Thank you for your time Dr. Elliott,” she said before hurrying the girls out the door.

Alexei had replaced his pants by the time they were outside and followed a step or two behind them.

“So, are you bonkers?”

Tatyana ignored him and followed Mother toward the trolley-stop a couple of blocks away.

Sofia giggled at the playful dig but ultimately shushed the boy and stepped up next to Tatyana. If anyone saw the two they would never guess they were twins. Tatyana was short and skinny with oily, thin hair. Sofia was nearly a foot taller and lithe with long silky blonde hair. Sofia was the picture of perfection.

Both wore long white dresses appropriate for girls of eleven years. Mother wouldn’t have it any other way.

* * *

“Have you brushed your teeth, Tatyana?”

Tatyana nodded but Mother demanded proof so she blew minty breath and then giggled as a bit of spittle flew along with it.

“Alright, get to bed now.”

Tatyana climbed the stairs to the second floor where she and Sofia shared a room. It wasn’t large but it was plenty of room for two eleven year old girls. There were two beds, one on each side of the room with a window between and a single dresser containing both their clothes.

Sofia had been in bed for ten minutes already. Mother didn’t supervise her bed time ritual. Perfect little Sofia always did what she was told.

Mother tucked Tatyana in and whispered “Goodnight,” before shutting off the light and closing the door.

Like clockwork, within minutes, a light rapping on the window signaled that Alexei had arrived. Every night after the lights went out he would show up dangling from the old maple tree growing in the back garden.

“Oh,” Tatyana pleaded. “Don’t let him in tonight.” In truth, Tatyana wanted to like the boy. He was rude and crass and said and did everything she wished she could. But he didn’t seem to care for her much at all so they quarreled often.

“I can’t leave him out there in the cold night,” Sofia reasoned.

“It’s summer, Sofia, it doesn’t get cold.”

Sofia had already swung out of bed and begun opening the window.

Alexei slipped in and collapsed on Sofia’s bed. “Whew, it is too hot to climb trees.” He was stretched out across the bed with his eyes closed.

Tatyana eyed his dirty street clothes with disdain. He claimed not to be homeless but if he had a home there mustn’t be anyone there who cared for him. He spent nearly every night on the floor of their bedroom and he always dressed in the same worn out pants and tattered vest.

At length, Alexei rose up on his elbows and addressed Sofia. “You’re lucky I like you, or I wouldn’t bother.”

Sofia grabbed a pillow and smacked him with it. “You’re lucky I don’t leave you out there.” She jumped on him and they wrestled back and forth for a while before they finally collapsed, gasping for air.

After a few moments of rest, Alexei opened his eyes and they fell on Tatyana. “Oh, you’re here. Sophie,” he always called her that. “You didn’t tell me the loon was here.”

“Stop saying that!” Tatyana yelled. “Besides, this is my room. You know I’m always here.”

Alexei giggled but then darted under Tatyana’s bed at the sound of the Mother coming up the stairs. The girls jumped in their beds and mocked sleep just in time for her to open the door.

“Tatyana stop pretending to sleep. With you yelling as you were the whole block knows you’re awake.”

“I’m sorry, I think I had a bad dream but I’m fine now.”

Just then a sound not unlike passing gas rose from beneath Tatyana.

“Why, you rude little child,” Mother said. “What do you say?”

Tatyana wanted to expose Alexei right then and there but she knew the trouble they would be in would be far greater than any common fart could cause her.

“Pardon me, Mother.”

“Now go to sleep.” Mother stormed from the room shutting the door firmly behind her.

As soon as she was out of earshot both Sofia and Alexei erupted into giggles. Alexei climbed out from under her bed and sat down next to Sofia.

She wanted to scream out again but she knew that would get her nowhere. Even as Sofia and Alexei giggled, Sofia’s eyes pled with Tatyana not to be cross with her.

With angry tears in her eyes, Tatyana rolled over and cried herself to sleep.

* * *

The next morning, Tatyana was pleased to find Alexei had gone.

Sofia was already up and milling about the room. “Good morning, Tat.” She jumped up on Tatyana’s bed and bounced impatiently beside her. “Are you ready for our picnic today?”

Tatyana’s eyes popped at the news. Sofia and Tatyana often visited a grove near Old Camp Road for picnics, sometimes weekly though it had been a few months since they had been there. It was something they always did together and Tatyana looked forward to spending time with her sister.

The few hours between breakfast and midday seemed to drag on endlessly but finally it was time to go. Tatyana and Sofia each grabbed an end of the large picnic basket and walked down the road toward the edge of town.

They chatted randomly as they made their way. Tatyana felt as though she hadn’t really talked to her twin sister in ages.

“I’m glad we are going on this picnic. We haven’t been to the grove in so long,” Tatyana said.

“I know. It has been a while.”

“I’m especially glad that Alexei isn’t here,” Tatyana said. It was something she had wanted to say for a while. “I really don’t like him very much.”

When Sofia didn’t respond, Tatyana stopped and looked at her sister. An apologetic smile greeted her.

Tatyana followed Sofia’s gaze to the foot of a gnarly old tree that grew at the mouth of Old Camp Road. Alexei rested against it, stretched out in the shade with his filthy bare feet crossed.

“You invited him?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you would care,” Sofia said. “I thought it would be fun with all three of us.”

“I’m sure you did,” Tatyana said sardonically. “He treats you like a princess.” She looked back up the road and considered going home.

“Come on. It’s too late to turn back now. Let’s go have some fun while we can.” Sofia took Tatyana’s hand and tugged her along.

Tatyana surrendered.

“Hey Princess,” Alexei called out to Sofia as they approached making Tatyana wonder how he had heard her from so far away.

Sofia sat down her side of the picnic basket to give Alexei a hug. Then the pair set off down Old Camp Road leaving Tatyana and the picnic basket behind.

Tatyana started to call out for some help but it was useless. Once those two were together, Tatyana was practically invisible. The picnic was ruined before it had even gotten started. She took hold of both ends of the basket and lugged it along after them.

Because she moved slower with the heavy load, Tatyana arrived several minutes after Sofia and Alexei. The two were already running around in the tall grass chasing butterflies and grasshoppers.

Tatyana dragged the basket as far as she was willing and let it drop with a thud. Just as she finished spreading out the blanket, Sofia and Alexei came running back and collapsed on top of it, panting with exhaustion.

Neither paid her any mind so Tatyana got up and walked off to find a place to sulk. Tatyana and her sister had been coming to the grove for close to a year, more so in the warmer months. Even so there was much that they had not explored. It was once a farmstead that had been abandoned during the Depression. The remains of the old house finally fell in a storm this past spring and now all that remained was a tidy pile of rubble.

Tatyana picked at some boards near the edge of the collapsed house. She didn’t notice a raccoon sleeping among the debris. She chirped and leapt backwards when she disturbed it and it charged at her, driving her backwards before it dashed toward to the woods.

Tatyana backpedaled a few steps and then tripped, falling on her back. She landed on some boards that shifted under her and she felt them beginning to give way. She rolled off of them just as they broke and fell away exposing a neatly cut hole below: A well.

She glanced back over to where she had left Sofia and Alexei lying on the blanket. Both were blissfully unaware of her fall or her new discovery. Tatyana crawled forward and peered into the hole. Even in the bright midday light she could only see for a few feet. She wondered if there was still water at the bottom.

Tatyana grabbed a plank of wood and tossed it into the hole. She counted the seconds until she heard it hit bottom.

One… Two… Three… She reached four before she heard the plank hit bottom. A crash instead of a splash. No water.

Tatyana flew backwards landing hard on her bottom as Alexei pulled her away by her shoulder. “What you lookin at, Bonkers?” He bent forward and looked into the hole. “Sophie! Come look! I’ve found a well!” he called out.

Sofia was already running toward them and she soon knelt at the hole as well.

Tatyana struggled to contain her anger as she sat on the ground watching the rude boy take credit for her find. She couldn’t believe how improper he was; how he had ruined the whole day and possibly even sullied this wonderful place that she and Sofia had shared for so long.

She felt her face redden and grow hot. “Why, you wicked little tramp!” Without thinking she lashed out and kicked him square in the behind.

Alexei let out a sharp yell and flew forward smacking his head hard on the opposite edge of the well before falling out of sight.

An eerie silence that seemed to last for minutes ended with a sickening thump as Alexei hit the bottom. Tatyana stared at the empty space he had occupied only seconds ago. Tears streamed down her face but they were not tears of sorrow. Tatyana felt a satisfaction she had never felt before. Finally he was gone from her life and no one would miss the orphan boy.

No one but Sofia.

Sofia had not moved from the spot where she bent low over the mouth of the well. Only her head had turned to stare in disbelief at her murderous sister.

Tatyana could think of nothing to say. She wasn’t sorry; she was glad. But she knew she couldn’t say that. Before she could think of a way to explain herself out of this mess, her sister bolted up and ran off at a full sprint.

Tatyana got up and hurried off after her sister. “It was an accident!” she cried. She had to calm her sister before she got home to Mother. Mother would be furious just hearing the boy’s name but if Sofia told her what Tatyana had done there would be big trouble.

Sofia easily outpaced Tatyana as they ran up Old Camp Road and back toward town. By the time they reached home, frustration had set in and Tatyana’s cries were more mean-spirited.

“That little twerp had it coming,” she said.

Tatyana found her sister sitting on the front porch crying. Mother was out running errands and didn’t expect the girls home anytime soon. “You know this is as much your fault as mine. You let him be mean to me all this time.”

If Sofia responded at all, it was to cry even harder. Tatyana tried for several minutes to calm her but eventually just sat down on the porch with her and waited for Mother to return.

Her mind raced with explanations and excuses that she might use to get out of trouble. She was certain that Sofia would spill every last detail.

When Mother returned, inside of an hour, she carried several bags of groceries and didn’t seem to notice Sofia’s soft crying.

“You’re home early. How was the picnic?”

“Fine,” Tatyana said before Sofia could answer. She eyed Sofia to see if she would expose her but Sofia ran into the house and straight up to their bedroom.

Tatyana took care of her chores before heading upstairs to find Sofia sitting on her bed, staring off into space. Tatyana sat down on her own bed opposite and watched her sister. She tried to follow her gaze but it seemed to go nowhere in particular.

“Sofia,” she said meekly. “Are you okay?”

Sofia’s gaze did not waver but fresh tears flowed from her eyes. Tatyana wilted. She hadn’t planned on killing Alexei but since the moment he disappeared below the rim of that well, Tatyana had begun hoping that things would return to normal. There was nothing normal about the girl sitting across from her.

“Mother is going to be coming up soon to make sure I’m getting ready for bed,” Tatyana said, her voice surprisingly stern. “If she sees you like this…” her voice trailed off.

Sofia wasn’t responding at all.

Tatyana got up and went to take a bath. She stayed in the tub just long enough to get her hair and body wet and then got out and got ready for bed. She wanted to be there to defend herself if Sofia spilled the beans.

She found Sofia in bed with the covers pulled up to her neck. She still stared off into space and cried softly. Occasionally unintelligible mumblings would escape her lips.

Tatyana darted for the bathroom when she heard Mother climbing the stairs. When she poked her head in the bathroom Tatyana was already brushing her teeth.

“Make sure you brush everywhere.”

Tatyana smiled weakly around the brush as she worked it furiously around her mouth. For once, Tatyana was glad that mother trusted Sofia to get ready for bed on her own. In her current condition Sofia would certainly cause Mother concern.

When Mother had gone, Tatyana returned to their room and climbed into bed. She hoped that a night rest would snap Sofia out of it and maybe tomorrow they could go retrieve their picnic basket.

Sofia’s soft moaning and mumbling kept her awake long into the night. She didn’t fall asleep until well after midnight.

* * *

Tatyana awoke to a familiar tapping noise. Someone was at the window, wanting to come in.

“Sofia,” she whispered harshly. “Get the window.”

Soft snores told Tatyana that Sofia wasn’t getting the window.

With a huff, Tatyana swung her legs off the edge of the bed and rubbed her eyes. A bitter cold filled the room and even in her long night dress goose-bumps rose on her arms and legs.

She stood and crept toward the window. In the darkness she couldn’t make out anything outside the glass as she approached. Tatyana leaned in close and peered outside.

At first she saw only the old maple tree and the garden below. Then a movement caught her eye. Down in the garden, leaning casually against the tree as though it was perfectly normal, stood Alexei. He didn’t look well. His face was mangled with two blacked eyes and a broken jaw. He seemed to be propped up on one leg because the other was twisted unnaturally behind him.

Tatyana found that she was holding her breath and suddenly gasped for air. Her heart reverberated in her chest like a freight train barreling down the tracks.

Alexei stared up at her for a moment and then, with a voice like someone with a broken jaw might have, he said, “I guess you are bonkers.”

* * *

Tatyana snapped awake, sitting up in bed. Her head whipped one way then the other, taking in her surroundings. She was safe in her bed. It was a dream.

Not everything was as it should be though. Sofia’s bed clothes lay piled at the foot of her bed and she was gone. The window swung wide and a soft breeze blew into the bedroom.

“Sofia!” she called out as loudly as she dared. “Where are you?”

Only the soft whisper of the summer wind answered her. Tatyana climbed out of bed and walked to the window. Unlike in her dream a bright, nearly full moon cast a gray pallor across the garden outside. She spotted Sofia almost immediately.

Sofia had climbed out the window, down the tree and she now strolled barefoot across the garden stones toward the road. She wore only her night dress.

“Sofia, where are you going?” She called out again when she didn’t respond. Still nothing.

Tatyana growled in frustration before climbing up on the ledge and making her way out on the branch. The tree was sturdy but Tatyana was inexperienced with tree climbing so the going was slow. By the time she reached the ground, her hands and feet were rubbed raw from the rough bark.

Tatyana ran out to the road and looked in all directions. Sofia was nowhere in sight. She turned and thought about heading back inside but her aching hands and feet made her reconsider.

She couldn’t yell for her so close to the house so Tatyana headed down the road in the direction of Old Camp Road. Maybe Sofia had gone back for the picnic basket. It seemed odd that she would do so in the middle of the night but Sofia had been acting strange since the picnic.

Tatyana regretted not taking time to put her shoes on. The dusty road was littered with sharp stones that hurt her already sore feet. During the day this walk was beautiful. The tree lined road seemed out of a fairy tale. But in the dark of night it seemed more akin to a ghost story. The bright moon served only to create long dark shadows that played tricks on a young girl’s eyes.

She tried to ignore the sounds of the night and focus on finding her sister.

“Sofia!” she called out as loud as she dared. “Sofia, come back!” The sound of her voice startled her and she wondered if it was wise to draw attention to herself.

A flash of white up ahead caught her attention. Was that Sofia’s gown? Tatyana picked up her pace in spite of her complaining feet.

Tatyana neared the turn off for Old Camp road and she could see Sofia moving quickly toward the grove.

“Sofia, wait for me. Please.”

Tatyana didn’t slow.

The sharp grass, while softer than rocks, provided little relief for Tatyana’s feet but she was able to speed up some. She finally reached the picnic site where she expected to find Sofia. Animals had scavenged the food, making a mess of the blanket. Sofia was nowhere to be seen.

Then she saw Sofia walking through the tall grass toward the rubble of the old house. And the well.

Tatyana ran after her sister, calling out again with no response. When she reached the edge of the rubble pile, Sofia had already traversed the minefield of broken wood, glass and nails to stand at the edge of the well.

“Sofia, what are you doing? We need to get home.” Tatyana said smartly as she tip toed through the obstacles. “Mother will have both our hides if we aren’t in bed when the morning comes.”

Sofia turned to face Tatyana and Sofia thought maybe she was finally getting through to her.

“Come on. I know you are upset. I’m sorry. I was angry. Since Father died, you are all I have left.” Tears welled in her eyes as she spoke in frank words about Father. She looked down, embarrassed. “Then Alexei came around and took you from me. I just missed what we had.”

There were tears in Sofia’s eyes as well when Tatyana looked up. Sofia let out a mournful cry and then, without warning, fell silently backwards into the well.

“Sofia!” Tatyana ran with abandon across the remaining debris and crouched at the edge of the well. She screamed for Sofia again, this time directly into the well. She listened for a response but none came.

Tatyana wanted to throw herself in after. What was left for her? Father was gone and now Sofia. How could she do this to her? How could she leave her?

She alternated between sobbing and screaming into the darkness below. This went on for an hour before she finally curled up into a ball, exhausted from the effort.

Whenever she heard a sound from the wilderness around her she renewed her cries, hoping that maybe her beloved sister stirred below. Eventually a fitful sleep overtook her and she slept through the night.

* * *

“Tatyana!” A voice penetrated the fog of sleep. “Where are you?”

Tatyana stirred and stretched. Her entire body ached. The first light of the day rose in the east. She took in her surroundings and memories of the previous night came flooding back. Along with them came fresh tears.

She got gingerly to her feet and crouched at the edge of the well peering down below. She saw nothing but the vision of Sofia toppling out of sight was burned into her brain.

“Tatyana!” The voice again. Mother’s voice.

“Mother!”

“Oh God, Tatyana where are you?”

Tatyana stood and looked around. Mother and two neighbors were gathered at the picnic site. The moment Mother saw her she came running. She still wore her night clothes with a robe tied modestly around her. Her hair was matted to her face from sweat or tears.

“What are you doing out here?” she cried as she pulled Tatyana into her arms. There was no anger in her voice. Only relief.

Tatyana collapsed into Mother’s arms and held her close.

“I’m so sorry, Mother,”

Mother squeezed Tatyana so hard Tatyana thought she might snap. “Where have you been?”

Tatyana could think of nothing to say except, “I’m sorry,” which she repeated over and over again through wave after wave of sobs.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong? Why are you sorry?”

“I killed him, Mother,” she blurted. Tatyana held her breath for the response that she knew was coming.

The neighbors had joined them now and Mother sent them away. She pulled Tatyana away from her body and asked, “What do you mean? Who did you kill?”

Tatyana looked dolefully at Mother and hesitated. She had to tell her now; she had said too much. “Alexei. He was always so mean to me. We were in the field here and he pushed me down and I kicked him.” Tatyana let out a sob but quickly pulled herself together enough to say. “I kicked him and he fell into the well.”

Tatyana sniffed another wave of tears back as she waited for Mother’s judgment.

A concerned expression on her face, Mother waited a moment to speak. “Tatyana,” she said, her voice was calm and reassuring. “We’ve talked about this. Alexei isn’t real. He is a made up friend that your mind created after the accident.”

Tatyana closed her eyes and shook her head back and forth. It couldn’t be. Alexei had tormented her for months. How could he not be real?

“Sometimes when we experience a great loss, our brains will try and cover up the pain. You invented an imaginary friend to help get through a very difficult time.”

“I killed him. I know it.”

Mother reassured her again that this simply was not possible.

“But, what about Sofia?”

A serious look came over Mother at the mention of Sofia. “What about her?”

“She loved him. She loved him so much.” New tears came to Tatyana as she mentioned her sister whose body still lay at the bottom of the well.

“Tatyana, this isn’t funny. What are you talking about?” The stern tone of Mother’s voice scared Tatyana.

She considered not saying anymore. How could she tell Mother that her daughter – her precious Sofia – was dead?

“Tatyana, talk to me.”

“Sofia loved Alexei. So last night she got out of bed and came here to the well.” Tatyana’s voice built toward a crescendo with every word. “She jumped into the well. She’s dead!” Tatyana was screaming at this point.

Mother shook Tatyana violently. “Shut up, shut up!” She was crying too now, hysterically.

Tatyana stared wide eyed at Mother, afraid she would throw her in the well to join Sofia.

Mother pulled her close and sobbed into her hair. “Sofia is dead. She has been dead for nearly four months. She died in the car crash with your father.” She pulled Tatyana away from her body. The concerned expression was back.

“You know this, Tatyana. You were there when we put them in the ground. It was the most painful day of my life. Don’t you remember?”

Tatyana struggled to sort out what Mother was saying. She watched her sister fall in the well last night. She watched her die. But as the fog began to lift she remembered that terrible day; the day she lost her father and beloved sister forever. She remembered that was the day she met Alexei.

Tatyana wrapped Mother in her arms and hugged her tight. All she wanted was her sister back. All she wanted was for things to be normal again.

Mother returned the hug before pulling Tatyana to her feet. “Come on, Sweetheart. Let’s go home.”

* * *

Tatyana watched the trees whip by as the car bounced along the rough pavement. She ignored the small flutter in her chest with each turn or jolt. With nearly a year of therapy, she was able to ride in a car without the terror that she would be in an accident like Father and Sofia but that flutter would never leave her.

Even the thoughts of her splintered family couldn’t dampen her spirits this day. With each passing moment they grew closer and closer to the county fair. Now twelve years old, Tatyana knew she could ride the bigger rides this year and she couldn’t wait.

Mother looked over at Tatyana from the driver’s seat and smiled. Things were finally starting to feel normal again.

Tatyana beamed at Mother and then turned to the back seat.

Sofia and Alexei sat, holding one another’s hand. They still bore the signs of that painful night almost a year ago. Sofia’s spine hitched sideways at an awkward angle and Alexei’s face still oozed blood from his nose and jaw.

Tatyana smiled at them and they smiled back.

Yes, things were finally starting to feel normal.

About the Author

Anthony Sullivan writes mostly speculative fiction from his home town of Louisville, KY. He pays the bills by writing financial software for a Fortune 500 healthcare company. His hobbies include astronomy, photography and video games. He is married to a wonderfully patient woman and has one rambunctious son.  You can visit Anthony here.

©2009 A.W. Sullivan