by Heather Parker
I trailed along the overgrown lane, pulling half-heartedly at dandelions and throwing two or three in the rush basket. How come this task always fell to me anyway? I sighed and sat down in the grass for a rest. As always, I let my mind wander and tried to imagine what this place must have been like before the war. I was only two when the Bomb exploded over the Irish Sea and I had no memories of that time.
‘Oh, if you could have seen our old house, Kate,’ my mother would say endlessly. ‘We had thick carpets with velvet curtains and a silver tea-service.’
She might have been describing Fairyland for all I knew. For us, life consisted of an endless round of tedious chores with little time for fun – or for dreaming. Sixteen years on, there were few signs of civilization reasserting itself in these parts.
***
That explained why I didn’t recognize the metal object I spotted hidden deep under the old cairn. I pulled it out curiously and shook the soil off. It had a thin silver strip extending upwards and a lot of printed numbers on the black casing. I was mystified.
I suppose I could have shown it to my mother but she would have accused me of dawdling and not getting on with my work. And my annoying sister Mary would be only too happy to agree. I grabbed a few more dandelions and hurried along to my Uncle Sean’s cottage. I couldn’t remember my father and I suppose Sean had taken his place, although my mother had little time for her wayward brother.
‘Hallo there, Katie. Has your mother asked you to come by and invite me to supper?’ he mocked and I laughed.
‘Not exactly. In fact she doesn’t know I’m here. I should be gathering dandelions for the ale but it’s Mary’s turn anyway.’
‘Ah,’ smiled Sean, amused. ‘But then Mary’s so much better at spinning and weaving…’ he trailed off, imitating my mother’s irritating voice perfectly.
I sighed. ‘How did you guess?’
‘Ignore them, darlin’. Mary’s dull as ditchwater whereas you’ve got the devil inside you. Always had.’
Sean’s accent was much stronger than my mother’s, on account of the fact he never tried to put on airs. Although old – well at least forty – he was still attractive and apparently had no shortage of girlfriends in the community. My mother called him a work shy, godless womanizer but he was my friend. Funny and always willing to listen, I thought the world of him. And he wasn’t idle anyway; he was a poet. He created sad, beautiful verses about the world we had lost and angry, bitter lines about man’s arrogance and stupidity.
I knelt down in the grass. ‘I found this out in the woods.’ I murmured, pulling out my mysterious treasure. ‘I thought you might know what it is.’
Sean’s face broke into a smile as he reached across and took it from me.
‘I do indeed. In fact I used something just like this on the lifeboat before the war. What you’ve got here is a radio for transmitting and receiving messages, although I doubt anyone would be listening if you tried it today.’
‘You mean there might be someone else with a box like this who could pick up the message?’
I was fascinated by the idea.
Sean nodded. ‘Once upon a time, yes. And I still have some batteries packed away that just might work but what would be the use? Who would hear us?’
In the last sixteen years, we hadn’t heard a word from England or anywhere else for that matter.
‘But there could be,’ I went on doggedly. ‘Please Sean, let’s try it. Sometimes I feel as if I’m suffocating here with my mother and Mary. I’m bored with housework – there’s got to be more to life than this. You know how much I love playing the violin but they think that’s just a waste of time!’
I was embarrassed to discover tears running down my face. My uncle leant across and touched my cheek gently.
‘Hush, Kate. If it means that much to you, I promise we’ll give it a try.’
He stared at me, concerned. ‘I didn’t realize things were so bad with you. Are you really that unhappy here?’
I nodded, wiping my eyes quickly. ‘It’s not what I want to do with my life. You knew so many other things before the war. You went to university and you traveled abroad. I’m afraid I’ll become like my mother if I stay here and all I’ll worry about is getting the bread to rise!’
Sean’s eyes twinkled at that. ‘Never in a million years, Katie. For one thing my sister has always been boring and for another – you’re as domesticated as I am. Your bread will never rise.’
I couldn’t help laughing in spite of my tears.
I forgot the next day was Deliverance, a new feast day introduced by the priest to celebrate our being saved from the apocalypse. It consisted of several hours of prayer and was not what I would call riveting. However I was able to whisper my news to Elizabeth during the service. She was equally intrigued.
”Can I come with you when you try it?’ she asked and I nodded.
‘But don’t tell anyone. Sean’s going to check it over today and we’ll try it tomorrow.’
My friend glanced round the little church. ‘Shouldn’t he be here? Father Mahon expects everyone to attend.’
I grinned. ‘Why do you think he stays away?’
***
‘What are you doing now?’ asked Elizabeth, watching Sean curiously the following afternoon.
‘I’m warming the batteries. It’s a trick I learned in the old days and I’m hoping it’ll bring these back to life. But don’t get too excited, girls. Even if they do work, it relies on someone else having a radio switched on. It’s a very long shot.’
‘It’ll work,’ I said grimly and Sean frowned at me.
‘Don’t expect the cavalry to come riding in to rescue you, Kate. I know we survived the war and that seems like a miracle. But the rest of the world? Why has no one come here in all those years? You might just have to make the most of your life here and give that young feller of yours a chance. You must know Brendan’s in love with you.’
He looked up at my stony face and sighed. ‘All right, just don’t get built up on this, Kate.’
But I didn’t want to hear his words of caution and suddenly I lost my temper.
‘Living in this boring little village, having affairs to pass the time isn’t my idea of fun – even if it does seem to be yours,’ I snapped back rudely.
Sean laid down the batteries deliberately and stared at me.
”Maybe you are growing like your mother after all,’ he murmured quietly and I could see the hurt in his eyes. ‘I try to make the best of things and I enjoy the company of the ladies. But I won’t be told how to live my life by you or anyone else.’
His anger was obvious and I genuinely regretted my words.
Elizabeth was scarlet with embarrassment. ‘Kate’s just got herself set on this, Sean. She didn’t mean what she said.’
‘Perhaps she could tell me that herself,’ he replied, never taking his eyes off my face.
‘I’m sorry, Sean,’ I murmured. ‘Of course you’re not boring and I couldn’t care less how many women you’re seeing.’
‘How many do you think there are?’ asked Sean, looking skyward. ‘You make me sound like Casanova. Flattering, dear, but sadly not true.’
‘I am sorry,’ I repeated and I tried to make him understand. ‘Is it so wrong to want to meet different people and see something of the world? You must have felt like that when you were young.’
‘I wasn’t aware I was old,’ he replied but his temper was cooling.
‘Oh, you’re not,’ cut in Elizabeth diplomatically. ‘Only compared with us.’
Sean tried hard not to laugh. ‘That’s all right then. And I do understand how you feel, Katie. I just don’t want you to be disappointed.’
***
But I was. We tried every day for a fortnight and I was ready to throw the hated object into the bay in frustration. Until one Tuesday morning when Sean was in the village and I was calling idly into the set, no longer expecting to get a reply.
‘Who’s there?’ asked an astonished voice from the set. ‘What do you want with us?’
I almost fell off the stool with shock. But I wasn’t going to let this opportunity pass me by.
‘I’m Kate Mulcahy. Who are you?’
My hands were shaking as I gripped the radio. There was a silence.
‘Hello? Are you still there?’ I pleaded, desperate not to lose this one precious link to civilization and my hopes for the future.
‘Where are you?’ asked the disembodied voice.
I thought the man sounded frightened but perhaps he was afraid I was the enemy. After all, the rest of the world might still be at war for all we knew.
‘I’m in Donegal. Where are you?’
The silence was longer this time. I could hardly bear it and I tried again.
‘Look, why won’t you talk to me? Are you in England? Or America? Is the war over?’
‘It is for you,’ came the quiet, almost sad response and the radio went dead.
I checked the batteries but they were exhausted. I wasn’t sure it mattered. I was certain the man wouldn’t talk to me again. I was still crying two hours later when Sean found me and took me in his arms.
‘Let go, little one,’ he whispered. ‘Stop chasing impossible dreams and make a life for yourself here. You’re a strong, intelligent young woman. If you don’t like things the way they are, it’s up to you to change them. And you can do it, girl. You’ve got it in you. You just have to start believing in yourself.’
And he was right.
I vowed that day I was going to start taking control of my life. It wasn’t easy but I was determined to choose my own path and even my mother came to respect that eventually. I learned to play the violin more beautifully than I ever thought possible. And to my surprise I found I had inherited a little of Sean’s ability to write poetry, although I never did get my bread to rise.
***
It was several years later when I discovered the truth.
I’d just borne my first child and I was visiting Sean to show off my beautiful Catherine. He never seemed to change but this day was different. He stared for a long time at my baby and then at me and I was afraid.
‘What is it, Sean?’ I asked nervously. ‘Is something wrong?’
He raised his eyebrows and half smiled in that way of his. ‘I’m not sure how to answer that one, Katie. But I think you deserve to know the truth.’
I was mystified but I knew better than to interrupt. He pulled out an old newspaper from the drawer of his desk and passed it across to me. He nodded and I sat down obediently and started to read. The paper had been printed in America many years before and told of the horrors the war had inflicted on the world. Millions of people had died across the globe and many places had been virtually obliterated. They wouldn’t be habitable for thousands of years – if ever. I looked up at Sean, upset and confused.
He sighed. ‘I know, darlin’ but read on. You and Brendan have a child now. You need to hear what it has to say.’
I started to tremble but I did what he said. The newspaper printed a grim list of the worst affected countries and I read the lines with horror and disbelief.
“Ireland was hit simultaneously by two massive hydrogen bombs, killing all the inhabitants instantly. There were no survivors and the island is incapable of sustaining life.”
‘But this is stupid!’ I cried, shocked. ‘Of course we weren’t all killed – this village survived. And probably lots of people in other parts of Ireland too.’
‘Have you ever seen anyone else, Katie?’ asked Sean gently, taking my hands in his.
I was confused. Why had I never thought about it before? Why didn’t it seem strange that no one ever came to the village? I hesitated as a terrible suspicion took hold. I was afraid to voice it.
‘What are you saying, Sean?’
‘I think you know, little one.’
But I wasn’t ready to accept what he was telling me.
‘We’re alive, Sean. Flesh and blood, for God’s sake! What about Catherine?’
He didn’t answer.
‘Where did you get this?’ I asked, my voice brittle.
‘It was washed up in a suitcase a few days ago. I found it on the beach. I’ve been trying to come to terms with it myself since then.’
I suddenly remembered something. ‘But I spoke to someone, you know I did. How do you explain that?’
‘You thought the man sounded strange and scared. When he said the war was over for us – perhaps that’s what he meant. He frightened you that day, Kate, didn’t he?’
This time I didn’t answer.
‘I think it must have been someone who can see beyond death, Katie. A medium or a psychic. And somehow, for a brief moment, our worlds touched. Maybe it was because you weren’t ready to give up on life, love. Don’t you remember, you tried so hard to leave here and go back to their world? Perhaps, just for a few seconds, you did.’
But it wasn’t just Sean’s words that convinced me it was true. There was something unreal about this place and our lives. We never questioned anything. How the grass still grew lush or why none of us ever became sick after the Bomb. I think we were too afraid of the answer.
Yet strangely I was content now. More than that I was happy at last.
***
Sean must have guessed the thoughts churning through my mind as I struggled to understand.
‘Is it so bad, Katie? Would you mind very much if it were true?’
I shook my head slowly as I thought about it – although I still couldn’t really take it in.
‘I suppose there are worse places,’ I whispered.
‘And your mother always said I was destined for them. Won’t she be surprised?’
I looked across at his kind face and the gentle eyes and shook my head.
’Not really.’
About the Author
Until recently Heather Parker worked for the University of Cumbria but now writes semi-professionally. She has won prizes in several major UK literary competitions and many of her stories have been published in popular British and American magazines. One has recently appeared in an anthology and her new novel will be published shortly by Drollerie Press. You can read more about Heather here.
©2008 Heather Parker
